by Erin
(Hanmer, Ontario, Canada)
Trying to remain calm, despite the chaos going through my body.
Hi, I'm Erin.
I can't remember what it's like to not have a headache. I started getting them when I was 11 and I'm 23 now. Over the years, the headaches got more frequent, and worse. I've suffered from chronic migraines for about 8 years now. I've even had 3 aura's in the last 6 months... something very new to me. It's so scary, and I can't help but wonder if this means my condition is getting even worse, despite all the lifestyle changes I've made to get fewer migraines.
On a higher note, I've managed to do some pretty great things in my life. I managed to graduate with honours from a 3 year college program while I had 8 yo 14 migraines a month. I'm now a Graphic Designer. I then won an honourable mention for my work. I still can't seem to wrap my head around how I pulled that off. Unfortunately, I'm not working in the field. I live in a town with few opportunities and I feel like I lack the drive and focus with my headaches/migraines always rearing their ugly heads.
I currently work as a cashier 32 hours a week to pay off my student loan and get my life started. I also have the most amazing boyfriend, the one that didn't run away when he saw me fighting my curse. He's so supportive and does everything in his power to help me. He's there to hold my hand and rub my back through the worst of it.
I feel like both the luckiest and the most unlucky girl. I can't help but wonder how much more wonderful my life could be if I wasn't being held back every step of the way. The world won't wait for me to catch up. All I know is, I've got to keep fighting if I'm going to get anywhere. I just hope that it will get better. It's that hope that keeps me going.